i will admit, at times the most powerful worship times for me are when i listen to the lyrics of songs. sometimes, because of how i’m wired and because of insecurities i have (however founded or unfounded they may be), God knows and accepts that there are certain times that i can focus on and worship Him more deeply when i’m alone listening to powerful lyrics. He accepts and is okay with the fact that there are certain times it’s not best for me to be sitting in a church building. He knows my heart. every day. every hour. He knows i desire His path for me. He knows i’m imperfect. He knows what i can and cannot do. and He knows why.
today was one of those days.
i love my church. i deeply love it. and i deeply miss it when i’m not there.
but today was one of those days that because of my insecurities, i couldn’t be anywhere else but alone. alone worshipping through song lyrics that bring me closer to knowing God more. and letting Him comfort and protect my insecurities.
i’m not perfect. sometimes i have it altogether and do all the right things. sometimes i’m an amazing wife and wonderful mother and friend. other times i mess up. and mess up badly. sometimes i’m not the person i know i should be and want to be.
i am SO thankful there is no “list” that is required of me to be loved by God. if i believed there was a list of do’s and don’ts to live by i would be in total despair with no hope. He knows none of us can live up to a list. He knows there is nothing i do or don’t do that can make Him love me less. He knows there is nothing i do or don’t that can make Him love me more. that blows me away. and humbles me. and makes me want to know Him more and give Him praise more.
i am His simply because of what He has done for me. i’m not His because of anything i have done so perfectly wonderful in my life. i am His quite simply because i believe He loves me so much that He suffered the cross for me. for ME! how amazingly comforting is that! how degrading is it to the character of God for me to believe i have to earn love and acceptance from Him. talk about kickin’ the big ole “to do” list in the butt!
i’ll share this song (click ‘this song’ and turn up your volume. :)) we’re all in different spots in our lives – i hope it comforts you where you are today. in a special way like it did me.
🙂 xox carrie